I can do 8 pushups. How many can you do?

These are things I want to buy with my $600 check from the US government United States.

1. iPhone.  You can download computers onto those things.

2. Shoes.  Those are pretty nice ones.

3. 1990 Donruss Ken Griffey, Jr. baseball card.  Remember when we used to put these in our bicycle spokes?

4. A razor.  For shaving.

5. A ferret.  An especially cuddly pet to have around the house.

6. $1000 bill.  I figure if I can buy one of these, I'm showing some good investment skillz.